|
I am a 42 year old mother of two grown daughters, however, I began using
Meth when I was about 30. I used off and on for all these years, but in the
latter years got into the buying and selling of it, finding that I could do
mine for free.
That is where my trouble began. I got involved with a cook and after
doing small business with him for several years and after moving miles away
from him, it became more beneficial for me to get several to pay for small
amounts from me, making my purchase from my dealer large ones, but only
having to return a few small ones. I could do more than my share and theirs
for free plus make loads of money from them when theirs ran out.
My life began to spin out of control. There were people dying, going to
jail, etc. My name was becoming more known and I got arrested. I wish I
could say that all of that was enough to make me quit, but it wasn't. I had
been clean for about 3 months after all of that and out of nowhere decided
to go back out.
Not using my dealer, but someone closer. I was already sick with a
urinary tract infection that I was unaware of and upon using the drugs, it
thinned my blood making the poison from the infection as well as the drugs
spread quicker throughout my body. I remember feeling achy and deciding to
take a bath and that is the last thing I remember until an ambulance got
there to pick me up. My daughters had called the ambulance, my family
watched as they brought me out of my home on a gurney and took me away. They
were frantic. Upon arrival to the hospital, my liver and kidneys had shut
down. I had hyperventilated to the point of asphyxiation. I was nearly dead.
It took 3 days for my kidneys to start working properly again and I am
sure that is only by the grace of God. I could write a book on my years of
using. But I think you get the point just by this letter. I hope that this
poem reaches someone out there and if it touches just one, it will be worth
it. It is my prayer that no one has to reach the
level that I did before allowing God to turn their life around.
By Barb F. |
