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From Drugs to God, to Religion, to Recovery!
Hi my name is Bonnie and I am an drug addict
and a alcoholic. I have written some witness but
here is a little poem I wrote after I served in
the
www.kairosprisonministry.com
for the first time. I had played the
guitar for 4 days and was driving back home (well
God was really driving) and my friend, Lori and I
had a huge "GOD touch" here it is....
Christ, we remember when you rode in my Jeep.
We were 4 days in prison, without any
sleep. As we spoke your name and whispered our
love, you suddenly appeared,
you'd come from above. We were lifted,
all pain was GONE/ it was totally replaced
with Gods' Mercy and Grace. We felt 12,refreshed
and couldn't go home/we drove to the shore to be with You,
alone. We laughed and we cried til we
became calm and knew it was Christ who took us home.
O Jesus, all praises to Thee...we know you
now, Brother, we KNOW
You are He!!! Thank the Great Healer for any recovery..
only God can do it when we LET GO and LET GOD!! Love to all,
Bonnie
Well now I can tell "the rest of the story" I cannot type well enough to
tell the whole "gory story", suffice it to say
that my name is Bonnie and I am a ^%&^** alcoholic and pill popper.
Yesterday( Sunday) I wrote to tell of my
admission, and that I could "give it all up" at
the Cross. So I'm going thru my Sunday afternoon,
watching those wild Nascar guys and I went to take a HALF of a
Loracet (my current addiction).
I've been prescribed 30 /7.5 mg. of Loracet a week.
I know it doesn't sound like much, but to
this old druggie, I was happy with it.
Yes, I have valid back pain(
who doesn't?) But I am hooked. My Dr. was
killed 2 weeks ago so I have to get rid of this habit and this horrible
"mind-set".
Sorry...back to the pill yesterday>I went to take a half and took a whole
one. I went out on the back deck to water some
plants and I was suddenly struck with feeling faint and stomach sick.
Remember...I was on my knees in Church begging God to take it away!!!
So He did. Quite frankly I was made to be sick so
I won't take a whole one again. I have just enough
halves to wean off. Then the "enemy"
(Satan) say's "hey,
yea, Bonnie, go
back to drinking!!!! I know it is the "enemy"
putting that thought in my head. I have decided to
go to AA or NA and let go and let those with long-term sobriety help to
12-step me thru this. Or I have the choice to seek
out a Dr to "poison" myself further.
we all have choices, every minute.
We blame people, places and things for our
drug abuse or drinking....remember, alcohol
is the "gateway drug"...NO I do NOT have the
option to drink again. Be here now/now be here!
When we put one foot in yesterday and the other in tomorrow,
we %$&$&% all over today. You are right,
it is good to admit it and write. I have to
serve the Lord today (just for today) by playing
guitar at the local Nursing home. I need the
Blessing of serving God and getting off my "pity potty" and I know I can get
thru this HELL that I have created for myself. I
am so glad that the pill made me sick and then I went and slept.
I know that God is answering my plea, that
He has work for me to do. I have a 28 year
marriage to a "saint' and I will keep that. I have
admitted everything to my spouse.(1st step to
recovery).
It is MY hand lifting a beer...my hand opening a pill bottle,
my hand going to my mouth and I have the CHOICE to keep my hand in my
lap (or playing that guitar) I have done Prison
Ministry (huge Blessing) and can Serve being sober
and clean.....and with God running the show I will surrender ALL to Him and
He will take it, thank you,
Jesus! Peace be with you,
Bonnie |
