I would just like to say that anyone who is on the drug needs to STOP IMMEDIATELY!! I was not on Methadone but my mother was. I watched her for years waking up at the crack of dawn looking for a ride to get to the Methadone clinic. She would come home and be out of it like she was drunk or something and then she would have to go back to sleep.

The clinic did not keep a close eye on the patients when they were drug tested and my mother was able to sneak someone else's urine in with her. She did this because while she was taking the Methadone, she was also smoking pot and still taking the narcotic pills that she was hooked on in the first place. She was not the only one because I would say at least 25% of the people (could be more) that went there, she new them and made deals with them. Selling pills was her source of income for many years. Needless to say we did not have a pleasant relationship.

Instead of the clinic always wondering why she would ask to have her dosage increased, they just kept giving it to her. Then the day came that I was pregnant and she knew that if she did not change her life style that she would not have anything to do with her grandchild because our relationship had then become limited. She decided that she would like to get help and be there for her grandchild as well as her daughter. I called every rehab in the state of Texas and no one would touch her because the clinic was giving her 100mg a day of methadone.

I am not sure what the limit is on taking Methadone, but I know that no one would have anything to do with her until she was down to at least 10ms a day because they told me that the side effects of coming off of something like that are terrible and that they were not capable of handling something like that. So she went and asked them to start lowering her dosages because it was time. (Finally after years of doing this, I thought that they were there to help people, not to make them more dependent on something else) .

After a short while of them decreasing her dosages, she had started having seizures. She did not tell me what was going on. I spoke to her on her birthday and she seemed to be doing very well and happy with the choice that she had made. Ten days later I had gone to the doctor for my pregnancy. I came home and had a feeling that I needed to call her. Instead I took and nap and decided I would call after I woke. My nap was interrupted by a phone call from my cousin saying that it was an emergency. I spoke with her and she had told me that my mother had died. I was told that she had a seizure and since no one was there with her she suffocated in the couch. I later looked up some information on the side effects of Methadone and they revealed that it can cause problems with your lungs as well as your heart and could possibly cause death.

Since we were limited on money, there was never an autopsy performed and the actual cause of death was unknown. I am assuming that the story that I was told was the hospitals spin on what happened. I know that my mother was not following all of the rules but I also know that they were not watching close enough nor informing these people as they should about the effects of this killer.

 Why do they think it is ok to keep heroin illegal but make this stuff ok? It is basically the same thing. I was four months pregnant when we had to bury my mother and the one thing that she wanted most out of her life, she never got to do. I know that if she was still here and was able to tell you her story she would. But since she is not, I will do it for her. I hope that anyone who is thinking about using Methadone will really research the drug and possibly read this story and hopefully not do it.

As for anyone that might read this that is already using Methadone, I really hope that you stop for yourself as well as for the rest of your family. I would not want anyone else to have to feel the void that I do everyday because of people being uninformed and using Methadone and possibly waiting to late. I think that if this drug has to be monitored so closely, then they should have more of a responsibility to inform and to make sure that these people are doing as they should. This is a hard subject for me to talk about but I told myself that maybe it would help someone else to tell this story!!

I wish anyone who is on Methadone good luck with your struggles to recovery. But just remember that it can be done and after it is over you can live a normal life instead of being held prisoner by this drug or worse, be dead. As for anyone that is thinking of starting Methadone treatment, PLEASE DON’T!!

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