Christmas Cake Recipe Jose Cuervo Christmas Cake

Pre-Recovery Christmas Cake Baking Lesson

This Christmas Cake Recipe is one of the only things I can remember. I used to know a whole bunch of Christmas Cake Recipes but because I followed the recipe directions a little too closely and used only genuine Jose Cuervo Tequila I can't seem to remember them. Before you attempt this Christmas Cake Recipe you should right down the directions first so you won't forget.

And remember people in recovery, this is really just a joke so don't try this at home!

And to the rest of you who aren't in recovery, Don't Drink and Drive! There is nothing funny about Drunk Driving Deaths!

CHRISTMAS CAKE

Ingredients:

1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
Walnuts
1 bottle Jose Cuervo
2 cups of dried fruit

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Sample the Cuervo to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again.

To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar.

Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK.

Try another cup... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with
drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a crap.

Check the Jose Cuervo

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefing. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Jose Cuervo and kick the cat.

CHERRY MISTMAS!