I am a recovering alcoholic addict, and until this past weekend I had 12 years of sobriety. I had reached a point where the desire to drink had finally left me, or so I thought. To put it honestly, I went to the wake of a friend and drank  almost a whole fifth of tequila in far too short a time. My friends did not take me to detox, which they should have done. That is the only thing I can fault them for. They are to blame for none of it, I for all of my actions, and the disease for the substance. I had a choice, and I made the wrong choice.

My understanding is it's not about how much you used or not, or where, or the reasons why. The point is that from the moment I chose to pick up the glass and take that drink, my recovery was halted and my addiction proving the fact that the addict in me still exists, whether sober or not.  And that this disease is baffling. I had no reason to do as I did. I can rationalize forever, but the plain truth is I had forgotten those three words. And that I had a choice, today. That is what counts. I'm not afraid to come back.