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My name is Kelly, and I am an addict. My personal relationship
with Jim began on 3-10-03. My clean date is 1-08-03. Now with a little
clean time as a sponsor, I try to advise my girls to try to devote their
first year to themselves, and to avoid relationships. As you can already
see, I did not, but our life together was from God. We could feel that from
day one. Jim already had about 18 months clean and sober, and I had 2
months. Our life together was awesome. It was a recovery based life. I
saw how devoted he was to N.A., and I also got very involved. That turned
out to be one of the best choices I have ever made in life. As time went on
in our relationship, he worked his program, and I worked mine. And we also
worked together. Together we found true unconditional love, along with the
help of the Fellowship.
I learned that I never knew the meaning of true
love. I had never been with anyone without involving drugs or alcohol. Jim
was so awesome. He treated me like a lady. We went on trips, and he had
shown me and took me places that I had never been. Together, we were
involved in H & I (Hospitals and Institutions) together. We had led a panel
at a recovery home for over a year and a half. We love and respect our
commitment. It has been a big part in keeping us clean and sober. I, to
this day, proudly keep our commitment. A little before a year clean, I
started the 11 month Hep C treatment. It was horrible. Jim walked me
through it. When I was sick, he never left my side. We shared so much
together, good and bad. He loved my kids and grandkids as they were his
own. He has two kids and grandbabies, and I, too, love them as my own.
We were perfect together, we shared everything.
Once we were called the perfect N.A. couple. I could go on and on, but my
life has drastically changed. On August 9th, 2004, Jim was
diagnosed with cancer, and the doctors said that he must have had lung
cancer for many, many years. He never knew. After being diagnosed, we got
engaged. No matter what, I wanted to be his wife. It did not happen, we
ran out of time. By the time they told us about the cancer, it was in every
bone from his skull to his right leg, and in most of the organs in his
body. He battled it almost 6 weeks. On September 22nd, 2004, he
lost his battle. My heart is now forever broken and it all went so fast. I
miss him more than words can say, but at the same time, I am so grateful
that he did not suffer any more than he did. I am very grateful that I am
the one that got to share true love with him. I was the one that got to
make him smile, to take care of him, and to hold his hand when he took his
last breath. My life at times feels very empty, but I know that Jim is in
heaven looking over me and waiting for me. I am also grateful that in our
time together, that he helped me build a foundation strong enough to help me
stay clean and sober throughout my loss.
Jim will always and forever be my soul mate.
P.S.: Merry Christmas Jim. It’s hard to face the holidays
without you.
Love
always, Kelly W. |
