My name is Maryann. I am the wife of an addict and this is my story.
I met Victor five years ago and we married a year and a half after we
met. The only drug I knew that he did was marijuana and to me that was no
big deal at the time. Shortly after we were married I found out he was
snorting cocaine and that went on for a year or so until I found out he
was smoking crack.
His addiction is tearing my life apart. We have three children, an older
son from my first marriage and an infant and a toddler together. I was
horrified to find out that he had taken my toddler son with him to buy
crack and also smoked it with him in the car. He has been through two
rehab programs and quit both, one of them which he hooked up with some guy
who was using with him when he was supposed to be at meetings. He will go
to meeting a few times a week but it never fails, he always slips and
binges. He has sold his wedding band, twice, gave my cell phone to a
dealer and wrecked our car. The lowest point in my life is when I caught
him scraping his crack pipe for "one more hit" in our bathroom.
I know it is only a matter of time before he is out on the street
hopefully hitting "rock bottom" and deciding whether to live or die.
Unfortunately, it will be too late for his family to forgive him. I have
given him chances again and again and he has no desire to quit. He once
told me that he can quit anytime he wants, and so after four years of
horror he still chooses not too. I have now lost my job because of
missing days with his addiction. I know there are people out there in
this same situation and I just want everyone to know that I love this man
with all my heart and I have tried. I now have to do what is right for me
and my kids and have the strength to go on without him. Thank you all for
listening. |
