| Step
4 of Narcotics Anonymous
By Terry D
Before starting Step 4 of Narcotics Anonymous, I came
to realize that I had new resources accessible for me to call upon in
times of need. Once I surrendered to my Higher Power, I obtained the
ability, knowledge, and vigor necessary to take a step forward devoid of
fear. I became self-assured in my innovative, healthy decision-making
skills, and my newfound spring of hope. I refused to permit myself to
embark upon Step 4 with trepidation, reluctance, or dishonesty. I had
already, at this point, given my Higher Power the authority to direct my
life according to His Will. Now it was time to apply faith and trust that
God will see me through this experience. I knew that only good would
result from making a searching and intrepid moral inventory of myself. So,
wearing the shield of valor, and stepping forth in confidence, I began
this new journey that in due course led to a successful, fulfilling, and
happy lifestyle.
The definition of moral in the dictionary says, “Of or concerned with the
judgment or instruction of goodness or badness of character and
behaviors.” It also goes on to describe moral as: “Conforming to
established standards of good behavior”; and, “Arising from conscience.”
I’ve personally come to understand in my journey that morals are habits of
demeanor. Moral is an expression that means right, good, candid,
respectable, and ethical. A moral person is a virtuous person, and an
upright person; an individual who maintains standards of livelihood that
mirror love, righteousness, and integrity. I had made it my utmost
objective in recovery to be converted into a moral human being, someone
who people can depict as a virtuous person of true integrity. Integrity
became an immense model for me. Having integrity is to be sincere,
truthful, and honorable, ultimately to be a moral person. In order for us
to arrive at this position, we must follow through with our personal moral
inventory, and bring to light the deficiencies of disposition that manage
to survive, in order that we may get in touch with our uniqueness, and
draw closer to be acquainted with ourselves, so we can better mould our
lives to positively progress in our recovery.
I was instructed that before I begin the 4th Step, I would need to ensure
that I was prepared, eager, and competent to be utterly straightforward,
meticulous, and courageous while I write down my moral inventory. Through
my newfound faith that my Higher Power supplied me with, I obtained the
audacity considered necessary to follow through with this Step. Applying
and utilizing the Spiritual Principles that I had learned so far in
Narcotics Anonymous, helped me to complete this Step, which totally
changed my life for the better.
Honesty is the essential element of this Step. When we are honest with
ourselves, with our personality flaws, our moral fiber, our depraved
standards, and all the negative aspects of our recovery, we gain the
capacity for positive change to transpire. An ever-abundant amount of
opportunities for positive alteration, growth, and development awaits us
as we are honest about our powerlessness, our addictive behaviors, and our
disease of addiction. By being straightforward, we are equipped to make
the most of all the other Spiritual Principles of NA that include:
Acceptance, hope, commitment, faith, courage, willingness, meekness,
unconditional love, firmness, open-mindedness, alertness, strength of
mind, sharing and caring, and, of course, honesty, which is the Ultimate
Spiritual Principle in which all the others derive from. Remember, before
commencing Step 4 of NA, that changing is a course of action that starts
with the mind, then enters the soul, and comes forth through our
decisions. We are the architects of our destiny, and by living one day at
a time we gain familiarity, might, and anticipation to face life on life’s
stipulations, to accept the things we cannot change, and the nerve to
confront the ultimate actuality of existence.
In my personal moral inventory, I wrote down all the characteristics that
were connected with my addiction and me. All negative aspects of my
character were exposed. The primary defects that should be listed in your
moral inventory are the causes of your resentments and anger. These are
the vital defects that you should focus on: Arrogance, self-pity,
voracity, deceitfulness, egotism, narrow-mindedness, spite, jealousy,
edginess, fear, lust, remorse, indignity, failures, disgust, and pride. A
searching and fearless moral inventory should also contain all of your
good characteristics that you wish to keep and build on that could include
love, faith, sincerity, kindheartedness, consideration, triumph,
endurance, and so on. The whole idea of a moral inventory is to bring to
light our character defects and personality flaws that bring us fear,
resentment, or guilt, and anything that can hold us back or obstruct our
forward advancement in recovery.
As my Higher Power provided me with the tools to work this Step, I was
able to efficiently travel along its path. The journey was a roller
coaster of feelings and emotions, but in the end, good did prevail, and I
gained the awareness, knowledge and understanding that I desired. As I
looked inward for the truth, I came to glimpse how my active addiction
distorted my vision. I noticed that I thrived on anger and holding
resentments. As I started to write down my moral inventory, a feeling of
harmony and calmness filled me. After I thoroughly wrote down my
inventory, I knew what would have to be done to reach the level of freedom
that I needed. A new attentiveness provided me with additional strength to
embark upon the positive changes that needed to take place in my recovery.
I had all the resources that I needed to safely and audaciously step
purposefully onward in my pursuit.
I had learned from this Step that my character defects were simply the
consequence of my inability to uphold conscious contact with my Higher
Power. Now that I was clean and serene, I wanted to be unconstrained from
the binding grips that were destroying me, making my life totally
unmanageable. I desired positive change, spiritual growth, and personal
freedom, so I did what was necessary to start removing my character
defects. Step 4 of NA brings us awareness, and at later Steps we gain the
aptitude, intellectual capacity, and potency to carefully eliminate these
defects of temperament. Step 4 is the starting point for a total
renovation of character to begin in our revitalization. Personally, I
wanted my character defects detached right then and there; however, I also
had learned tolerance and confidence in Narcotics Anonymous. Recovery is a
lifelong course of action. True positive change occurs when you’re
prepared, and can handle it. Therefore, I recommend that you gain all the
awareness that you possibly can in this Step, then start preparing
yourself for positive change to commence. Plain awareness is all we need
some times for change to set in motion. Trust that your Higher Power will
guide you and show you the way to true tranquility and gratification.
Perfection is not our objective, but progress is the key to steadfast
recovery. As we honesty work Step 4, positive behavior change will occur.
As we are candid and bold, we come to know the things we want to change
about ourselves, and the things we wish to keep. Self-examination opens
the door for true alteration to begin. We continue to hear in the meetings
of Narcotics Anonymous that maintaining stability is extremely imperative
in our recovery. Achieving equilibrium is crucial for us to remain
unyielding and unfaltering in our search for positive change. We equalize
all parts of our lives to preserve balance. In NA, the four levels of
balance are Self, God, Society, and Service. So, as you do your personal
inventory, scrutinize all areas of your life carefully and fearlessly to
achieve superior results. A whole, happy person maintains poise in those
few areas of his life. Doing so, he is better able to achieve victory. I
hope that my description of Step 4 will help you to better understand the
magnitude that this Step will have in your life, and in your recovery.
Thank you for allowing me to be of service. My name is Terry, and I am an
addict.
If you
have any questions on recovery, or the N.A. program, then you can contact
me by
Clicking Here. Thank
you for allowing me to be of service. My name is Terry, and I am an
addict.
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